A Torchwood Christmas
by Little Revolutionist Ace
Summary: It's late, I know! Torchwood parties are always dangerous... Swearing


Authors Note: Late, I know! Sorry!

Owen slanted into the Hub, holding his head as the alarm bells howled. Finally looking up to see who was around he started to howl with them. "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??"

Jack sprinted out of his office, his gun at the ready. "Janet didn't get free again, did she?" Owen just gestured wordlessly around. Festooning the walls were tinsel, fake snow and many other christmassy decorations. Jack grinned. "Don't you like it? Gwen came in early, so me and Ianto helped." he looked around their handiwork and grinned again.

Owen just glared at him. "It's disgusting."

Stalking off to his autopsy bay to cut up some purple streaked alien that had come in a few days earlier.

Looking up from the silver sludge that seemed to replace blood in this alien, he shuddered as Gwen appeared, adorned with a tinsel crown. She grinned down at him and pulled a box from behind her back. He put his head down and pointedly ignored her for the decoration abomination.

Until he started hearing tinkling noises. And just in front of his nose landed a christmas bauble, spraying the silver sludge all over him.

Yelling out in shock, he wiped the liquid out of his eyes and spat it out. Turning around, he was bombarded with balls of tinsel and more baubles. He bent down under the barrage and collected a few in his arms, standing up again, he threw one back and yelled "OH, IT IS ON GWEN!" Chasing after her, she shrieked and several of the round plastic baubles met their mark, hitting her backside and head.

Running behind the water tower, Owen followed her and stood still, completely shocked. She had disappeared. He strained his ears and hear a light footfall on the balcony above, a smothered giggle. And something came poring down on his head. He coughed and waved his arms around, attempting to protect himself. Shaking his head he tried to dislodge whatever it was and groaned as a light powder came down in waves. Examining some closely he groaned even louder. Bloody silver glitter.

Owen ran for the showers and was not seen until five o'clock, when he was ready to disappears.

* * *

Gwen Cooper, Toshiko Sato, Ianto Jones and Jack Harkness were grouped around the cog wheel door, each holding a bucket full to the brim with more glitter.

Gwen was first to speak. "You are not going anywhere."

Toshiko spoke, sounding as if she had been well rehearsed. " We're having a Christmas party." Owen's eyes narrowed. "Will there be booze?"

Ianto nodded. "I bought a new supply. And hid it." Owen grinned happily. "Hell, if its going to be a piss up, I'm staying!"

Several hours later, and many games of 'I have never' they were all drunk off their faces. "Truth and Dare!" Gwen slurred out. "I'll start." she rather unsteadily picked up an empty whiskey bottle, dropped it on it's side and spun it. The bottle teetered for a moment on the edge of the table, and stopped, pointing towards Owen.

'So Owen," Tosh grinned evilly, almost sadistically. "Truth or dare?"

Without as much as second thought of the dangers, Owen replied "Dare."

The Torchwood team (minus Owen huddled together and discussed it. Soon they emerged to face Owen.

"Okay Owen, we've got it. You are donating a whole weeks pay to a chosen charity."

Owen slumped his head down on his knees. "Oh, so not fair. What charity?"

Gwen grinned. "Save the children."

"BUGGER!"

_

* * *

The Next Morning_

Tosh groaned, and attempted to roll over, clutching her head. Stopped by a warm arm spalyed out on her stomach she looked straight into the face of Owen Harper.

She suddenly felt very itchy, and looked down to see a red tinsel dress. A very short tinsel dress. She tugged it down and turned as crimson as the dress when she realised her bra was missing.

Owen woke up to see a half naked woman by his side. Always a good start to the morning, he thought.

"Oh, God." he breathed as he recognized the figure of Tosh beside him. Hastily getting off the floor he stood for a moment and wondered where Tea Boy, Freckles and the Captain had got to. Heading for the boardroom to check CCTV he grinned as he saw Ianto, spread eagled on the table in someone else's clothes. Someone else's? His. He looked down, puzzled. he was wearing Ianto's suit. And it was surprisingly comfy.

That still left Jack and Freckles. He turned on the CCTV and flicked through the channels until he saw Jack.

In a cell.

In Tosh's tights and tinsel short skirt.

Owen grinned and ejected the DVD, carefully slipping it into Ianto suit pocket in case he ever needed a raise.

Now where was Gwen?

He flicked through some more CCTV and found her in the tourist office.

Covered head to toe with post it notes. Pink and Green.

How he loved post it notes.

"We really must have more office parties." Thought Owen maliciously.


End file.
